Miscellaneous Masala/Spicy Stuff

• One guy asks the other: Hey, have you ever gone to bed with an ugly woman?
The second guy: No, but I've woken up with a few.
• What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes?
Stay out of BED for two days.

• What's common between U and Christmas tree?
The balls are just for decoration.

• Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.


• I told my wife I want to die in bed. She said, "You did last night - three times!"

• Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor.
"Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl.
"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far up as possible."
"Well," the doc concluded, "go home and wash possible."

• The sexy secretary walked into her boss's office & said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you"
"Why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once."
"Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You aren't sterile....."

• Three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their hands shook.
The first geezer said, "My hands shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!"
The second old fogey one-upped him. "My hands shake so bad that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I sliced all my flowers!"
The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday, I came three times."

• A really, really fat man got out of the shower at the health club. A second man said: Gee, you're fat!
The fat man: Yeah.
The second man asked: How long's it been since you've seen your D***?
The fat man answered: Long time.
The second man asked: Why don't you diet?
The fat man asks: Why? What color is it now?

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