Miscellaneous Masala/Spicy Stuff

1. Stop taking so much notice of how you feel.
How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re
thinking. It’ll go too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, you
feel; whatever you think, you think. Since you can’t stop yourself
thinking, or prevent emotions from arising in your mind, it makes
no sense to be proud or ashamed of either. You didn’t cause
them. Only your actions are directly under your control. They’re
the only proper cause of pleasure or shame.

2. Let go of worrying.
It often makes things worse. The more you
think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. When
you’re hair-trigger primed to notice the first sign of trouble, you’ll
surely find something close enough to convince yourself it’s come.

3. Ease up on the internal life commentary.
If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable. People are always
telling themselves how they feel, what they’re thinking, what
others feel about them, what this or that event really means.
Most of it’s imagination. The rest is equal parts lies and
misunderstandings. You have only the most limited understanding
of what others feel about you. Usually they’re no better informed
on the subject; and they care about it far less than you do. You
have no way of knowing what this or that event really means.
Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.

4. Take no notice of your inner critic.
Judging yourself is pointless.
Judging others is half-witted. Whatever you achieve, someone
else will always do better. However bad you are, others are
worse. Since you can tell neither what’s best nor what’s worst,
how can you place yourself correctly between them? Judging
others is foolish since you cannot know all the facts, cannot
create a reliable or objective scale, have no means of knowing
whether your criteria match anyone else’s, and cannot have more
than a limited and extremely partial view of the other person. Who
cares about your opinion anyway?

5. Give up on feeling guilty.
Guilt changes nothing. It may make
you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce
anything new in your life. If you feel guilty about something you’ve
done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed
up and try not to do so again. Then let it go. If you’re feeling
guilty about what someone else did, see a psychiatrist. That’s
insane.

6. Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you.
Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make
you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. They
can’t make you anything. You have to do that for yourself.
Whatever emotions arise in you as a result of external events,
they’re powerless until you pick them up and decide to act on
them. Besides, most people are far too busy thinking about
themselves (and worry what you are are thinking and saying about
them) to be concerned about you.

7. Stop keeping score.
Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have
mystical powers. Because something is expressed as a number, a
ratio or any other numerical pattern doesn’t mean it’s true. Plenty
of lovingly calculated business indicators are irrelevant, gibberish,
nonsensical, or just plain wrong. If you don’t understand it, or it’s
telling you something bizarre, ignore it. There’s nothing scientific
about relying on false data. Nor anything useful about charting
your life by numbers that were silly in the first place.

8. Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working
out the way you planned.
The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong.
The world changes constantly. However
carefully you analyzed the situation when you made the plan, if
it’s more than a few days old, things will already be different.
After a month, they’ll be very different. After a year, virtually
nothing will be the same as it was when you started. Planning is
only useful as a discipline to force people to think carefully about
what they know and what they don’t. Once you start, throw the
plan away and keep your eyes on reality.

9. Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their
own decisions.
To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s
success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the
plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. You can’t do it for them;
nor can you stop them from messing it up if they’re determined to
do so. The job of a supervisor is to help and supervise. Only
control-freaks and some others with a less serious mental disability fail to understand this.

10. Don’t worry about about your personality.
You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego,
is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world.
Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and
actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You
can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so.
What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined
effort on their part-usually through continually telling themselves
they’re this or that kind of person and acting on what they say. If
you don’t like the way you are, make yourself different. You’re the
only person who’s standing in your way.

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