Kids really do say the most dardnest things
KIDS REALLY DO SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS
THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
a woman in a convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark
naked!
As I was reeling in shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the
back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
~DOWN THE DRAIN
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So, I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage.
Zachary stood thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a
charming little smile,
"We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet a few days ago."
~A MIND OF HIS OWN
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother.
The note read:
"The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."
~HITTING THE SAUCE
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked her 6-year-old daughter
to answer the phone.
"It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother.
Then she added,
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
~LOCKER ROOM
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in
amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a
little boy before?"
~ POLICE #1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.
Looking up and down at
my uniform, she asked,
"Are you a cop?"
"Yes," I answered and continued
writing my report.
The little girl said, "My mother said if I ever
needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"
"Yes, that's
right," I told her.
"Well, then," she said while extending her foot
toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?
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