What is Love and What is Marriage...???
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: -
you can go through them only once & cannot turn back
to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person ...."
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.
But the rule is:
you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage.
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1 comment:
Love and Marriage
Love has very little to do with marriage, although I am surprised at how many people -- even "educated" youngsters in places like India that were culturally mature in the past -- think otherwise. Married life, first with a partner, and then potentially with other genetically allied human beings, is essentially a lesson in the recognition of limitations on individual freedom. It has to do with tolerating and appreciating different points of view in a sequence of very prolonged and intimate interactions, where politeness may fade with time. So the initial flush of physical infatuation soon ceases to be a "decoupling" interruption in the reality of married life. Hence those marriages are likely to be long-tenured and successful that have been socially organized or arranged.
In all societies, marriages are arranged to more or less degree, although the rituals/brokerage mechanisms may be very divergent and appear disguised, particularly in societies where the mythology of individual freedom is widely accepted. The idea of individual choice in marriage is of course a mental construct that reinforces the acceptance of what is primarily a social and socially enforced institution. What is fascinating in "new" European societies such as the US, is the strong idealized belief that love is a necessary prerequisite in marriage, when there is dramatic empirical evidence to suggest that marriages fail for a variety of more mundane reasons such as wealth tolerance, brand preference, work-sharing, etc. It appears that despite marriages being based on "love", there is an ex ante probability of greater than 70% that love cannot overcome individual differences on the mundane criteria stated above.
So marriages are more likely to succeed where they are arranged and where there is a consistent connection between deep social networks, cultural celebration of social institutions including marriage, a clear/pragmatic recognition of gender differences, and a recognition of the balance between social intrusion and private space.
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