Miscellaneous Masala/Spicy Stuff

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if
they aren't prepared for the worst answer.

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness to the stand. The witness was
a grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know
me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've know you since you were a young boy, and frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do,
he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones. do
you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build
a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice
is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
mention he cheated on his wife with three different
women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench,
and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
*******s asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in
jail for contempt."

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