Miscellaneous Masala/Spicy Stuff

Santa : Who are you ?
Jasmeet : How dare you forget your wife?
Santa : Nasha Har Gam Ko Bhula Deta Hai
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Santa : Doctor, Ye Phulon Ki Mala Kis Ke Liye?
Doctor: Ye Mera Pehla Operation Hai, Successful Hua To Mere Liye,
Nahi To Tumhara Liye
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Santa : Doctor Saab, Mein Chashma Laga Ke Pad To Sakoonga?
Dotor : Haan, Bilkul.
Santa : To Phir Theek Hai Doctor Saab Varna Anpad Aadmi Ki Zindagi Bhi Koi
Zindagi Hai.
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Santa : Raat Film Main Ek Chudail Kabhi Mere Aage,
Khabh Mere Peechhe Ghoom Rahi Thi...
Jasmeet : Koun Si Film Thi ?
Santa : Apni Shaadi Ki Movie Thi !
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Santa Apni Girl Friend Preeto Ko I Luv You kehta Hai Aur Gir Jata Hai
Preeto : Yeh Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Santa : I'm falling in love.
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Banta : Yeh Chaaku Kyon Ubaal Rahe Ho?
Santa : Suicide Karne Ke Liye
Banta : To Phir Ubalne Ki Kya Zaroorat Hai?
Santa : Kahin Infection Na Ho Jaaye
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Lady Doc: Tum Roz Subah Clinic Ke Bahar Khade Ho Kar Auraton Ko Kyon Ghoorte Ho?
Santa: Ji Aap Hi Ne Bahar Likha Hai: Auraton Ko Dekhne Ka Samay 9am-11am
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Bunta : Aao Ji Chess Khelein
Santa : Tu Chal Mein Sports Shoes Pehen Kar Aaya.
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Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night.
He got irritated... drank poison & said, "Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!".
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Captain : Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain : Tum Aage kyun Nahin Bade?
Santa : Apne kaha 9 Jawanon Aage Bado, Mein 10ve Number Pe Tha..!
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Banta : Yaar Teri Bibi Ki Maut Ka Bada Afsos Hua, Vaise Hua Kya Tha?
Santa : Goli Lagi Thi Mathe Main.
Banta : Waheguru Ji Ka Shukar Kar Ke Aankh Bach Gayi.
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Santa Apni khoobsurat Bibi ke Saath Taxi Mein Baitha.
Driver Ne Sheesha Set Kiya.
Santa Gusse Mein Bola, Meri Bibi Ko Dekhkta Hai ! Piche Baith, Taxi Mein Chalaoonga!
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Sadhu: Bachcha Teri Biwi Ko Chuddail Chipak Gayee Hai. Upaaye Karvaao.
Banta : Upayaye? Baba, Agar Do Behenein Gale Mil Rahi Hain To Is Mein Harz He Kya Hai ?
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Bunta : There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa : To Dictionary Dekh Kar Kharidni Thi ...!
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Santa : Agar Tumhe Kuch Ho Gaya To Mein Pagal Ho Jaaunga.
Jeeto : Doosri Shaadi To Nahin Karogey?
Santa : Pagal ka kya Kai, Kuch Bhi kar Sakta Hai
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Banta : Oye, Tu To Doctor Ke Paas Jaane Waala Tha, Kya Hua?
Santa : Yaar kal Jaaonga, Aaj Tabiyat Thodi kharab Hai.
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Santa : Itne Kam Marks? Do Thappad Marne Chahiye
Pappu : Haan Papa, Chalo Maine Us Saale Master Ka Ghar Bhi Dekh Rakha Hai.
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Santa dials a number. A girl answers the call.
Santa: Who are you ?
Girl : Seeta here!
Santa : Maine To Chandigarh Phone Kiya Tha, Yeh To Ayodhya Mil Haya
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Santa went to battery shop to change battery.
Mechanic : ' Exide' Laga Du?
Santa : Dusri Side Tera Baap Lagayega Kya?
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Santa Puri Zindigi Bhar Sirf Ek Thing Sochte - Sochte Mar Gaya..
"Ki Mera To Do Brothers Hai..
Phir Meri Sister Ke Teen Brothers Kaise ?
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Santa Apni Sister Ke Saath Bike Pe Ja Raha Tha..
Aachanak Dost Banta Mil Gaya.
Bunta : Oh Yaar ! Girlfriend Ke Saath Kaha Ja Rahe Ho..?
Santa : Oye ! Girlfriend Hogi Teri..Meri To Sister Hai !!
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SANTA : Aaj Maine Paani Ko Ullu Banaya !
BUNTA : Wo Kaise ?
SANTA : Aaj Maine Nahane Ke Liye Paani Garm Kiya Aur Thande Se Naha Liya.
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SANTA Talking on cell.
BUNTA : Kis Se Baat Kar Rahe Ho ?.
SANTA : Biwi Se.....
BUNTA : Eithne Pyar Se....?
SANTA : Kyque Ke Tumhari Hai. . .
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A donkey kicked Santa and ran away...
Santa ran to catch the donkey...
He finally caught up with a zebra and started beating it....
Saying.. 'SALA Tracksuit Pahan Ke Dhoka De Raha Hai..!!.
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SANTA : Yar Meri Biwi Pani Se Bohat Darti Hai,
BANTA : Acha ! Wo Kaise?
SANTA : Yar kal Me Ghar Aya To Wo Bath Tub Mai Bhi Security Guard ke Sath Bethi Thi.!!
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Sardar : Yaar Meri Biwi Ghar Chod Kar Bhag Gai..
BUNTA : Tune Use Pyar Se Nahi Rakha Hoga,
SANTA : Nahi Yar !! Sagi Behan Se Bhi Badkar Rakha Tha..!!
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Yamraj took our Santa on a tour of hell.
There he saw Gandhi dancing with Bipasha.
SANTA : Gandhi De Saza Ini Mazedar Kyon?
YAMTAJ: Saza Ta Bipasha Nu Diti Hai..!!
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Santa went to Mysore Palace.
Tourist guide : Santaji please dont sit there, its Tipu Sultan's Chair !
Santa : Oye dont worry yaar I'll get up when he comes.!!..
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Nurse : Congrats Santaji, Aap Papa Ban Gaye.
Santa : Meri wife Ko Nahi Bolna Mein Use Surprise Dunga!
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Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe.
Banta : Oye, Kutte Ki Dum Kabhi Seedhi Nahi Hoti.
Santa : Idiot, Main To Pipe Bend Kar Raha Hoon...!
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Preeto : Raat Ko Aap Peeke Gutter Mein Gir Gaye The.
Banta : Kya Bataoon, Sub Galat Sangati Ka Asar Hai..
Hum 4 Dost... 1 Bottle, Aur Woh Teeno Kambhakt Peeten Nahin.
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Preeto : Santaji.. LIPTON Di Chah Hai?
Santa : Mainu Ta Nahi Hai Ji, Tainu Hai Ta Lipat Ja...




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