Miscellaneous Masala/Spicy Stuff

1.A drunk Thai man was bitten several times when he tried to rape an unwilling dog.

Police said the 33-year-old man had been drinking heavily with friends before he tried to rape the dog.


The man was caught by police officers when residents in the area notified the police about a man walking along the street, bleeding.

After being questioned, the man told the police he noticed a brown female stray dog wagging its tail and 'acting sexy'.

When he tried to pull the dog into some tall grass near the roadside, the dog resisted. The dog bit him on his face, chest and arms. When the dog stopped biting him, the man tried to stagger home.

The man also admitted to the police that he had raped three dogs earlier while he was drunk.

The man said he got excited when he drank heavily but did not have the money to go to a prostitute.


2. A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.

Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.



The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.

"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Mr Alsop said on Thursday. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."

A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.

"He's got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again," she added.


3. Man superglues condom to penis to save on safe sex!

A Romanian man needed some help after his 'great idea' started to feel not so great. He had superglued his condom to his penis


The 43-year-old father-of-five told doctors he and his wife didn't want any more children. Their obvious solution was to start using condoms, but the condoms Nicolae Popovici's wife bought were a bit 'roomy'.



The couples solution for this small problem was not to buy new condoms that did fit, but to make the big ones fit. One way or another.

They used superglue to glue the condom to the man's penis. This did not only solve the size-issue, but they could also re-use the condoms, so they thought.

After sex, the couple realised the condom was stuck and wouldn't come off. After trying everything they could think off (and these people are resourceful as you may have noticed) Nicolae went to the local medical clinic for help.

One of the nurses said: "He even said that he thought the condom could be used several times and that he wanted it stuck on his penis so he could use it again later. We barely managed to remove it in the end."


4. Sex toy closes airport

A vibrating sex toy was mistaken for a bomb. The entire Mackay Airport in Queensland was closed down for nearly an hour because of it.


The alarm was raised by cafeteria manager Lynne Bryant, whose staff was cleaning the tables when they noticed a strange humming noise coming from a rubbish bin.

Lynne Bryant said: "It was rather disconcerning when the rubbish bin started humming furiously. We called security and the next minute everybody was being evacuated while they checked it out."

The police spokeswoman said: "Another two flights were expected to land at that stage but alternate arrangements were made for the passengers to collect their luggage away from the terminal," the spokeswoman said.

While the police was calling in bomb experts, a passenger came forwards to identify the contents of the package. The unidentified passenger forgot his bag after diner.


5. Teacher asks students to masturbate

A biology teacher in Brazil is being sued for asking students to masturbate for a class project.

The teacher asked three teenagers to provide sperm samples (in other words: masturbate) so the class could study sperm under the microscope.


One of the students told his parents about the incident. His shocked parents immediately notified the police.

A spokesman for the police said: "It is a disrespectful and bizarre thing to ask a student, we are all horrified."

The school, located in Campo Grande, Rio de Janeiro, says it's equally appalled by the biology teacher's behaviour.

6. The birds and the bees

A couple from Germany went to a fertility clinic to find out why - after eight years of marriage - they were still childless. The cause of their trouble conceiving was an unexpected one.

After eight years of childless marriage, the 30-year-old wife and her 36-year-old husband decided it was time to find out why they couldn't get pregnant.


They visited a fertility clinic and the doctors ran some tests which indicated they shouldn't have any trouble conceiving a child.

A spokesman for the clinic said: "When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said: "What do you mean?"

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The couple now knows about the birds and the bees, and with some luck they will have a child in about 9 months.



7. Sexually aroused horse causes death

A 24-year-old man was killed by a sexually aroused horse after he tried to calm the beast down.


The twenty-four year old polish man Robert R. was bitten to death after he tried to calm down his horse that was uncontrollably sexually aroused by a nearby mane.

While pulling a farm cart through the village, the horse became wild and started to buck.

An autopsy will reveal if the man died from a severed jugular vein or a spinal injury.

8. Judge uses sex toy during trials

An American judge is facing unemployment after using a sex toy, a penis pump, in court.


The 57-year-old judge, Donald Thompson, was seen doing something with his hands under his robes.

A police officer says he saw the judge pumping a tube between his legs. Other witnesses said they heard hissing noises.

Lisa Foster, a court clerk, says she saw the judge's penis at least 20 times because of his clumsy manouevrings.

The Creek County, Oklahoma judge said the sex toy, used to extend the penis, was a 'gag gift' from a friend.

The district attorney wants Donald Thompson sacked for his bad taste.

This judge is probably better off finding another career. A job that comes with a name tag and a broom would suit him better in my opinion.
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